Sunday, 9 February 2020

This is the dark side of living the life as an expat

To be completely honest, this is a post that I have been working on in my mind for a few days now, just to find the correct angle for it, because I do not want to come off as super negative and scare away a potential or future expats. The thing is that in general my life as an expat is pretty good, but my experience this lifestyle has some dark sides or drawbacks. One of these drawbacks is the physical distance that you have to your family and friends. Take me as an example, I haven't been back in my native country since mid-2016 and I would say this is the worst part about living this way. Of course, I could go home for a visit, but that would mean I had to take my entire family with me.

So when things happen back home it's not that easy for me to pack a few suitcases and head for the airport. This is something I have got a taste of these past two-three weeks. First, my mom ended up in the hospital, a week later my favourite aunt on my mother side passed away and last week she was carried to her last resting place. This is also the reason why I have spent so much time trying to find the correct angle on this blog post since its of such personal character. The thing is or this is my experience that when you choose this type of lifestyle and settle down with a family and job as I have done, it kinda makes you a bit less mobile in situations like this.

So when things like this happen, it tends to hit you harder. Like it did when I got the phone call about my mom and my aunt. I would say that this is the absolute worst part of living the way I do. You kinda get disconnected for your family and friends. So you can say that these past two-three weeks have been rough, the entire burial day I was in a really weird mood. I was short-tempered, kinda depressed and snapped at anyone that crossed my path for the smallest thing. I guess that this is a reaction to the fact that I couldn't attend the “event” and be unable to support my mom through this rough time, as I used to while living back home in Norway.

You can say that this post is written in her memory, a fantastic and amazing 60-year-old lady with down syndrome who for the most part of her life lived with her mother or my grandmother until she passed away a few years ago. From that point, she had to kinda live on her own or she did live in an apartment complex assisted with nurses and such 24/7. the funny part is that she had a “boyfriend” for the past few years of her life and that kinda always made me smile. This special lady had a very special place in my heart for so many reasons. First of all, I lived more or less with her for like 10 – 15 years, first in my childhood home and then just with my grandmother and her while studying.

She was one amazing lady, not one evil or bad bone in her entire body and she always managed to make me laugh, even now when she is laid to rest. Just thinking back at when we played cards, out shopping for snacks or just being in the same room with her. She always lit up the room with her just being there. Since I am a Christian, the things that make it feel a bit better is the knowledge that she is with her parents and all those who went before her. I know it sounds a bit silly, but it kinda makes sense in this point in time. It's not like I am overly religious or anything. Just that I believe there is more about this universe of ours than we know and that a creator is watching over our crazy ways.

Anyway, I know this one got a bit dark. Maybe not so strange since what has happened in the past few weeks. It wasn't planned this way, but at the same time, its part of living the life of an expat and the idea is to share my experience living as one. It doesn't get more real than this I would say. Its part of life and something that everyone will go through more than once in life, but few thinks about this happened while you are living thousands of miles away from your loved ones, but this shouldn't scare you away from actually making the jump from the regular life at home and into the life as an expat. It's worth in by far, but just keep in mind that things like this might happened and be prepared for it, that's all I am saying.

I guess its time for me to wrap this post up and get it ready for my blog, but while I am at it, remember to check me out on social media. You can find me on Facebook through (Beyond the Horizon) and (JackBowler Sr), on Instagram (Beyond our Horizon) and on Twitter (JackBowler Sr). At the same time, if you like or enjoy the work that I am doing on this blog you can always support me through Ko-fi by buying me a coffee or two (Jack Bowler Sr) or just help me share my posts on social media. All help would be appreciated. Anyway, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read my post and check out my blog, I do hope you enjoyed reading this somewhat dark post about the backside of living as an expat.
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7 comments:

  1. Trist å lese om tanten din! Kan umulig være lett å ikke kunne delta slik man ønsker! Men syntes du er tøff som i det hele tatt tar denne reisen å lever som du gjør. :)

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    1. Kan jo ikke si annet enn tusen takk for dette da @Linda, men jeg visste jo sånn sett hva jeg gikk til og hvordan det ville bli, denne posten er ment mer som å dele noen innerste tanker og samtidig få noe ut av systemet. Om du forstår hva jeg mener?

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  2. I can't imagine being away from my home for that long!

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    1. Thank you for the comment @SavagePatent. Appreciate the attention and the effort. Well to be honest Peru has become my new hom in many ways, but I still have people back home that I miss and wish to see on a more regular basis. I would say thank you lord for things like meessanger, whatsapp and such services. Makes things easier for the most part

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  3. Enjoyed reading this - we are expats living in Dubai. We are fortunate that we get yearly annual flights as part of our package as teachers so we get to make that return trip home every summer. We certainly wouldn't be able to afford it if we didn't. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful woman and i'm sure she's out there watching over you, playing cards!

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  4. Sending my condolences for your loss. I'm sure that it was even harder to grieve because of the distance. I think the greatest way to honor a loved one's memory is to enjoy our lives as much as we can with no regrets. Thank you for your honesty as well.

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  5. There are pros and cons to our decisions in life. When it comes to traveling, you make the sacrifice of going away from your normal home, but at the same time, you gain new insights in life.

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

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