Wednesday, 3 January 2018

My life in Peru really changed during Christmas:

In my previous blog post (Welcome to my new blog, Beyond the horizon) I spent most of it introducing me and my blog, plus trying to explain to you guys my intentions or plans with it. Originally it was supposed to be all about Peru and my new life here. Let's say that I wrote most of its content back in late October or early November when things were more normal around me. Because things have changed drastically since then, but I haven't felt like changing much of its content when it was time to publish it earlier this week. All I have done is proofread and change a few words that I used, wanted to keep the optimism and my state of mind.

Back then it seemed like I had a “bright” future here in Peru with my family and we were still planning or talking about setting a final date for the big day (our wedding), we were planning to start our own business and talking about having more kids in the future. All of this changed in late December, the 23rd to be more precise. You can say that I got the “talk” and had the dear John letter moment that day.. So day before Christmas my relationship ended kind of brutally. Not that I have not been aware of that something were wrong with us lately. Because I have, but I have been believing that these issues have been fixable.

Ever since the breakup I have been spending my days trying to figure out what actually happened and to see if it were fixable, I did not want to give up on the relationship right away. The result I got from my “search” is that it's about time for me to move on and look for new adventures. It's not like I want to give up, but the search result does not give me any other options. Right now it does not seem like it is fixable anyway, who knows how it will look in the future? I am not saying that I will re-join the dating game because this is something that I am far from ready for. The wounds from the breakup are still too fresh and I still do love my ex-fiance way too much.

So what does this breakup mean for me and my newly released blog? For me, it means that I have to relocate again. Truth be told, the only thing that could keep me from leaving Peru is my baby boy (he is not a baby, but its a nickname I have for him) and the never-ending love I have for him. At the same time, I do love this country and I wish that I could see a future for my self here right now, something I am not able to do right now. This can change with time when I get some distance from the breakup and the pain I am feeling right now. My focus right now is naturally with my son and my own future. What the future has in store for me is hard to predict. One thing is for sure, there will be new adventures for me.

I am not going to close the door on anything and who knows, things can change for me here. Maybe even my ex-fiance will change her mind on all of this? If not I will be leaving in the near future, but the question is where. Right now I have several options. I could do the easy thing and move back to Norway, I can go back to the Philippines or jump on one of the many invites that I have gotten since these past few days. One of the invites is to move to California. The last one is really tempting for me because I have been a few times to the US and I have always had a fantasy about living there, but never seen a way to.

So what does all of this mean for my blog? Well truth be told, I am far from about to give up on this dream. My world might be crumbling around me right now, but I will do everything that I can to keep it alive. I am not about to give up on the blog when it seems like I am about to set off on a new exciting/scary adventure. All of this just makes the blog even more relevant and a way to keep my mind occupied. This way you guys can my new adventure as it happens, both here and on my Youtube channel. There is a saying when life gives you a lemon you make lemonade and this is what I am trying to do right now.

To jump shortly back to the breakup part, I am done feeling sorry for my self and burying my self in depression, because that does not lead anywhere good, but more misery for mine. End of a relationship is not an easy thing to work through, but staying positive and keeping your self-busy is the medicine that I am trying to use in this case. I want to focus on what is ahead of me and try to enjoy the days I spend with my son. I am excited about the adventure part. There will be a lot of them in the future. They won't be from Peru, but an adventure is an adventure and I hope you guys will enjoy what is coming in the future. Just wanted to update you guys on what has happened at my end during Christmas.