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Monday, 16 April 2018

My experience of being single in Peru so far, part 1:

Magdalena del Mar "skyline" at night
Hello ladies and gentlemen of the internet, today it feels like I need to start by giving you guys an apology for my somewhat absence from this blog and the rest of my “my” social media these past few weeks. More than two weeks has passed of the month of April without me updating my blog at all, up until now that is. The truth is that I really have not had the energy or the level of focus that I need to be able to sit down and work on a post for my blog or a video for my Youtube channel. This has not been over lack of ideas or “inspiration” because there has always been something happening around me, maybe too much at times. Let's say that it has not been easy to sit down and focus on things like this when everything seems to be a complete mess around me and so much unwanted attention/drama. This type of noise kinda drowns out the productive thoughts, if you know what I mean?

This is also one of the reasons for the choice of topic for today, how it is to be single in a country like Peru and how I have experienced it so far. For me, this is an exciting topic and one an experience that I did not expect on arrival back in 2016. Mainly for the reason that I had a family that waited for me here and that I actually thought had stronger bonds then it had in the end. I guess that it is the way of life. I am sure that some of you are wondering what I am “talking” about, for you, I would recommend that you check out my post (My life has really changed during Christmas). The short version is that I got dumped by my fiance on the day before Christmas. Not that the break up came as any surprise to me, what did was the day it came on. Our relationship had been on a downward spiral for a few months.

Not that I blame my ex in any way. As I see it we all deserve to be happy and if that means to separate from your life partner, well then it is what you have to do. At the same time, I am pretty sure that both of us were at fault that it ended as it did. Sometimes relationships like this work out and sometimes not, what I am thinking about here is long distance relationships that materializes into a real-life one after years of separation. My initial break up reaction was to get out of here. Pack my most needed belongings and get back to Norway to get as much distance between me and the pain that I felt here and then. After the worst shock had worn off I kinda decided to stick around for a while and spend my time trying to be as good of a dad for my son as I possibly could be.

So you can say that my new life as a “single dad” got a bit of a rough start, personally if you ask me. For the first couple of weeks after the breakup, I was doing my very best to hide from the outside world in my apartment in Huaral focusing on things that would demand as little of me as possible. I was feeling sorry for my self and without knowing it, causing all kind of drama. Yes, I did go through a period was I was extremely depressed, to such a point where talking to my family back home in Norway was one of the hardest things I did every day. This was a period where I spent most of my waking hours playing on my PlayStation 4 talking with friends and my family through the phone. I drank a lot of coffee and smoked much more than I usually do. I ate very little, at most one meal a day. Some days nothing at all and what I ate did not really do me any favors.

My mind and body were simply occupied way too much with what was going on in my life, trying to figure out what had gone wrong and trying to fix what was broken. You know to fix the relationship between my ex-fiance and me. What I did not realize was that I made a much bigger mess out of things by over focusing on this. Creating much more friction and drama between us than necessary, not to forget over complicating the situation. This was something I did not see at that point in time. Much thanks to my friends and family I kinda managed to get through my depression or faze one as I like to call it and over to the next one, the acceptance. My world had collapsed on me, but at this point of the breakup, I would not let the current situation dictate my next step (something I will come back to later).

Well, guys, I think its time to end this post now. I am sorry for splitting this blog post up into several parts. The truth is that I had planned to have all of this in one post, but while writing in it I found out that with just one it would end up as a super long, so that is why I have made a short “series” out of it. That way I could be much more detailed without it seem like a book to read through. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this post and that you will come back for my future updates, especially for part two of this series. At the same time, remember to check out my social media pages like Facebook (Beyond the Horizon), Twitter (Beyond the Horizon), Youtube (Beyond the Horizon) and Instagram (Beyond our Horizon). I hope to see you guys there as well.