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Friday, 29 March 2019

My personal experience as a single expat here in Peru:

Photo credit: Talmoryair
Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the greater world wide web. Today we have finally arrived at the end of another work week and for most of us, it also means the beginning of a two-day break from everyday life's hassle and dassel. So tell me, do you have any major plans for this weekend or are you going to take it as it comes? Winging it as they say. When it comes to me, then it's business as usual. Something that means all work and no play, but I am not complaining since this is how I like it. Anyway, maybe its time for me to get started on today's topic? I guess you see from the headline of this post where I am heading today? Sharing some of my dating experience here in Peru.

Okay, before I continue on today's post, I feel like there are a few things that I need to address, let's call it a disclaimer of the sort. First of all, I am not writing this post to brag about any female conquests of mine. This is not my intention at all. Neither am I focusing on this topic to talk bad about Peruvian females, far from it. Because when all come to all, I can not think of anything directly negative. Not more than what I am used to back home in Norway, anyway. To be completely honest, I love Latinas. I know it can sound bad, but it is as respectful as it can be. For me its all about preferences. Despite this, I have had some weird experiences while being single here in Peru.

Yes, I have had a period here in Peru where I have been single. Not that I am going to go to deep into this part of the story, but I was a single dad from December 2017 to July 2018. To be honest and as mentioned in a previous blog post, the first weeks were hard to handle, but I do owe a lot of gratitude to my then ex-fiances family that really came through for me at my lowest. Her dad and uncle came and came for a visit to bring me into Lima so I didn't have to be sitting alone in my empty apartment. So why am I retelling this part of the story? The reason for this is that it's here where my dating experience actually starts. Because when we arrived at the apartment of my ex-uncle inlaw I was quickly introduced to a friend of his wife.

She was a perfectly nice lady in all possible ways, but naturally, I was not at the point where I wanted to commit to a new relationship. The big mistake on my part was that we more or less drank alcohol every single day and when you are under the influence of alcohol things has a tendency to feel a lot different than when you er sober. I hope you know where I am heading with this? Because at a point it did develop some real feelings between us, at least on my part. A couple of weeks later I moved to Magdalena del Mar with my ex-fiance. Yes, we were still living together, despite the breakup, mostly for convenience and our beloved baby prince.

It is at this point that things actually start to escalate for me. Since I had moved pretty far away from where this lady lives I started to check out different dating apps that I installed on my phone. No, I am not going to mention which ones, let's keep them a secret for now at least. At that point I really wasn't looking for something serious, just browsing profiles and looking for someone to talk with. Yes, the naive Norwegian were just looking for someone to talk with on a dating app. After a short, while I came in contact with maybe three or four females, we exchanged phone numbers and started texting and talking on a daily basis. Have to say that I really connected with only two of them.

For some time after that, I came in touch with even more ladies, but it always ended up with these two. Mainly because we had such a good connection. One of them was at that point in time in a long distance relationship and we were only platonic friends anyway. At one point we actually talked about spending Valentine's day together, since both of us didn't have anything better to do on that day. It didn't happen, why I am really not sure. With time, I ended up going on dates with both of them. Not anything major. Meeting over a cup of coffee, taking a nice walk while talking and things like this. I wasn't really ready for a more serious relationship anyway. Still hoping to fix the broken relationship.

What I didn't know or pick up right there and then was the fact that one of the girls, maybe even both of them had developed romantic feelings for me. To such a degree that if I didn't meet her she would throw a tantrum I have never witnessed in my life. With time things started to improve between me and my ex-fiance. Because of that I kinda stopped contact with them both. So I could focus fully on what we're starting to develop between me and my ex. Yes, I did let her know and I did my best to do it in a soft way as possible, but it's here were the crazy or weird part comes in to play for me. Because from what I understand she didn't take it that good. The other one just got angry and told me to …...

The girl that had developed romantic feelings for me really changed her character drastically. From being this nice and comfortable ladies, to straight out a stalker. Luckily for me, I never told her exactly where I lived because that would have been unpleasant for me and my family. What I have found out is that she started to spend time in the area that we usually had our walks just to see if she could “randomly” bump into me at some point or get a glimpse of me at a distance. How do I know that this happened? She told me in a series of text later on. When we finally moved out of Magdalena I felt a relief, since now she wouldn't know where to find me, was I wrong.

To put things in a better context for you guys. I “broke” things off with this girl in May of 2018 (we weren't really a couple in my eyes) and we had random contact through messenger from time to time. Something that she instigated, by the way, but for the most part, I looked at things as ended in a good way. So when we moved to San Miguel in December of 2018 things had cooled completely down, but all of a sudden two weeks after moving into our new apartment I get a photo message from her. It was of me having a cigarette break on my porch. She had actually managed to find out where we lived and approached the building and taken this photo of me. That really scared me.

I confronted her about this and she brushed it aside that she was there by some random event and saw me standing there. At this point, I had not told her that I was back with my ex since I didn't look at it as her business at all. Actually very few of my friends and family knew about it. So she tried to tell me this story that she was dating this guy from Canada that travelled between Peru and Canada every month. Her claim was that he had some kind of business in Lima. So I told her, cool and that I was happy for her, that she should stop contacting me to focus fully on him. Nothing would happen between us anyway, but after a lot of back and forth, she came clean. That she had made it up to make me jealous.

At this point, I was angry, scared and worried. Worried and scared about what she could do next and angry because I felt my privacy had been intruded. Our new apartment didn't feel that safe anymore because of her. My lucky strike was when she decided to check my blog and found out that I and my ex had gotten together again. At that point, she just said, wow and she is happy about you guys moving to Huaral and everything. After that, I never heard from her again, luckily. Our last contact was a few days before the moving truck came to take our stuff to where we live now. Right now I am pretty sure that she has given up, but trust me, having a stalker isn't fun. Been there before, but this time I felt it was way closer to my body if you know what I mean by that?

On top of this, another flirt of mine from a year back has now re.surfused, but now I have just said it straight out. I am back with my ex and we are doing better than ever. Not entirely true, but we are doing great and trying to work things out between us. Things like this are always hard work, especially when we have gone through what we have. Anyway, I am that type that really goes to extreme lengths to avoid saying things that might hurt someone's feelings, it doesn't matter who this person is, the last thing I would want to is to hurt her or his feelings. This is something that has brought me into many difficult situations, similar to this one and it seems like I am unable to learn from my experience.

I am glad that my dating days are over now and that things ended as it did with me and my current girlfriend, fiance, and wife to be. Yes, I am planning to reask her the big question. I know that she is waiting for it. we are actually making big plans for the future and to be honest, it makes me extremely happy. Not just for me, but for my son as well. So my conclusion from all of this is pretty simple. Being single and dating here in Peru can get pretty crazy. It's not that, I have had some very good experiences as well. Gotten to know some pretty nice people and a halfway crazy one, but I have broken contact with every single one of the now or I did that a good while back.

To be completely honest, it wouldn't be right of me to keep in touch with my flirts since I am back with my girlfriend. Not that I think she would mind, but it would be weird for me. So my tip to you, if you are thinking about joining the South American dating game. My advice to you is careful and use common sense, leave your blue eyes or naivety back home in Europe or the U.S. This is because dating down here is on a whole different level. The females are more aggressive, more territorial and a lot more jealous. Just to have it said, I have nothing bad to say about Latinas or Hispanic ladies, just that they can be more than a handful. It's my experience
anyway.

Anyway, I guess its time for me wrap this post up and get it ready to get published on my blog. I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience being single and in the dating game here in Peru. I might have messed up the entire post, but at least I hope you found it enjoyable and maybe even informative at some point. If you did like it, why not check me out on social media? My Facebook is (Beyond the Horizon), my Twitter is (Beyond the Horizon), Instagram (Beyond our Horizon) and on Youtube (Beyond the Horizon 2.0). I do hope to see you there as well guys, I do post content that never will be published on my blog. Until next time, hope to see you back for my next post and remember to stay safe.